I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot
of my bed.
At first I was afraid…….then I was petrified.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time….
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin, 3 hours later and they’re still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they’ve lost the plot!!
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown.’
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking
I thought, ‘What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?’
Thanks to my friend Kirk for sending these by email